Kendrick, the multi-millionaire firewood salesman, fresh off his Pyrrhic victory over Charlotte by forcing the company “agent” upon her, still doesn’t sense the urgency of the moment like almost all other Yahoo Boys.  You know the drill - “please transfer immediately and send receipt”.  Though he does pester me a little about whether Irving made the transfer, he does it in his typically slow manner.  As this post progresses, it languishes a bit in the period of time after he understands that he needs to wait and it devolved into romance.

This I cannot abide.  There were a few things I forgot to hit him on, so I sought to start a fight.  The problem is for me is that we are in the process of transferring money, and no matter how much I take Kendrick to task on his multitude of lies, he cannot and will not get too upset with me.  I have all the leverage and he has none.  Though he doesn’t like this, he can’t attack me the way he used to because it will jeopardize the transfer.  I’ll still start shit with him regardless and you can see how he continually tries to get out of the argument while still holding his ground.

He’s off with the questions again, which are always the same.  How am I feeling, how’s the day going, and what am I doing?  I keep it close to the chest because I want him to ask me about the transfer.  He does on the fourth question, and it’s about Irving and whether he sent the money.  He still does not know about escrow.  I have placed the transfer form on slide 1 and I must thank u/delzbr for her excellent fakes.  

He asks about Irving a couple more times in a row and Charlotte assures him that Irving is “meticulous”.  He thinks this is a good thing, but if you know Irving like I do, it’s definitely a BAD thing.  He keeps on this and wants me to call Irv.  It must have been his aza who was bothering him and of course he knew the money had not been sent.  He said he’s waiting, but to me that means ignore him for the rest of the day.

Then in typical Kendrick fashion: he drops it and goes back to his boring self.  I have to practically prod him to ask for the receipt.  But not before going into a chatbot romance word salad that I respond to with a Joe Walsh lyric.  Then the three questions drop the next day that I am dying to hear:

How are you doing today?

How’s your day going so far?

What are you doing at the moment?

Then: Irving?  Yes, what about him?  It’s the sabbath.  Wait until Monday?  Sure but that won’t do Kendrick any good because it is President’s Day.  Finally I blurt it out: What do you need from Irving?  Did he send?  And where is the receipt?  He gets bossy but I really was trying to give the fake to him and had been sitting on the it for a few days and didn’t want u/delzbr’s work to go in vain.  I do warn him about escrow but it of course goes over his head.  

Once he gets it, he sends to the “agent”, or aza - the Nigerian money man.  About 45 minutes later he asks if I knew when it would clear.  He must have taken that to the aza, he reviewed it and told him about the waiting periods.  They bought it!  

Through the next days the old Kendrick comes back with little purpose and only armed with incessant questions which really begins to annoy me.  He starts to romance me more than any time before, perhaps trying to keep me groomed so that the transfer goes through as planned and perhaps for some post scam scams.  Maybe a wood chipper will blow!  He talks about unspecified plans he has for both of us.  This coming from a man who refused to meet Charlotte twice!  I don’t react much to it and he finds an excuse to leave.  He is only there to put in his time and count the days until he sees the money.  I start to get on his case about not meeting me and this will eventually lead into our argument of sorts.  If Kendrick loved Charlotte so much, then why did he refuse to meet in Scotland?  He irritates me with his response that of course I should know he was “locked up” with work despite him telling me his work was “on hold”.  This will become a bone of contention.  Seeing that he has no answer for this, he excuses himself for bed.  

Then:  How are you doing and how is your day so far?  Same question, right?  But he asked it twice!  I snap back that there is no need to ask the same question twice.  Pre-ask Kendrick would have called Charlotte rude, but post-ask Kendrick explains it is because he cares so much!  Finally that brings us to yesterday’s discussion which will unravel for Kendrick quickly as he is held to account for his lies one by one.

“I really miss our mutual correspondence”.  Huh?  He texts her every day, gives a greeting and then excuses himself for bed!  Whatever.  

What does a perfect day look like for you?

That’s it.  It’s go time.  Charlotte gets snotty and Kendrick attempts to stifle that with more romance.  Bad call.  Again I bring up his refusal to meet in Scotland.  But Charlotte, you KNEW I was at work and couldn’t abandon my post!  OK, time for some facts.  He told Charlotte his work was shut down because of the broken log splitter.  His words, not mine.  Kendrick thinks he can mansplain his way out of it.  You see, just because he said his work was “on hold”, it didn’t mean all of his work was really on hold, you silly goose!   Very patronizing tone that is meant as a father to a little girl who fails to understand simple things.  He’ll pay for that.

Charlotte does not give up the ghost about him not meeting her despite his work being on hold.  And in addition to that, he is allowed off-site and is a contractor.  But Charlotte, dear, you are still not understanding anything!  A machine was down, but there was still other things to do!  That’s why I couldn’t see you!  He was so far behind!  Please understand him!  Charlotte asks why he had to stay on-site 24/7 for a fucking firewood operation that was without a splitter.  More bullshit from Kendrick and he repeats the same shit over and over.  Think I need to ramp it up?  

Yes, I think I need to ramp it up and place him even more on the defensive.

Kendrick drones on with the same BS and tries to sneak his way out mid-argument by saying it is late and it was time for bed.  True - in Nigeria is was late.  Charlotte doesn’t stop and he was either going to answer me that night or wake up to a bunch of texts questioning his honesty.  Time to break out the screenshots, complete with highlights of his unmistakable words that work was at a halt.  The machine is “critical” for his work, he had deadlines that were never met, but yet here he is - still working?  So what was the emergency?  Why is Charlotte sending him a log splitter if he was still working?  

Kendrick comes back with a “thanks for pointing this out”.  This is actually funny.  You can tell he wanted no part of this conversation but felt he needed to come back in as he saw that his scam was in danger of slipping away from him.  Again with the same excuse, but with the “Look Charlotte” which is about as snarky as he could get away with.  She’s all wrong.  Work was still going on.  His presence was required!  Charlotte responds that there was no emergency then and the necessity of getting a log splitter wasn’t as dire as he made it out to be.  No Charlotte, no.  The log splitter is and was critical.  So please keep that money coming.

Meh.  Looks like the project can wait.  He seems to be getting by just fine without the log splitter.  And didn’t he already miss the deadline?  Will he have to go to Jain?

On the ropes and exhausted from trying to save his scam to no avail, Kendrick attempts another escape and says he needs to go to bed.  He can of course, but Charlotte is not shutting up.  Go to sleep if you will, but please do understand that Charlotte does NOT believe him anymore.  To rub that one in, she digs up an old comment he made to her months ago about taking with him $30K in cash when he got the contract.  This was at Charlotte’s insistence.  Uh oh.  What happened to the $30K?  

About the deadline - yeah he missed it, so he restructured things and had to manage it differently.  OK.  So you didn’t need the log splitter.  You managed without it.  I get it.  And he has the $30K in cash so he had enough to pay for the splitter himself.  I love taunting them with money they do not possess.  Guess what?  Kendrick spent the $30K!  Who would have thought!  Even more than $30K!  Your move, Charlotte!  Kendrick seems to be not only a spendthrift but a horrible businessman to boot.  I can’t let go of this guy!  

What did he spend the $30K on?  Hookers and blow?  In a remote Scottish forest?  He’s chopping firewood!  No Charlotte, no!  He needed that $30K for uhm, wood chippers.  Not just wood chippers but INDUSTRIAL wood chippers!  And this gem:  I don’t fix machines.  I replace them.  Yes, with random online stranger’s money.  It wasn’t the flex he thought it was.  Well then.  Replace it.  He had $30K.  Charlotte expressed incredulity that not only is this man chopping firewood for a living in Scotland, but now wood chippers!  I totally smell millions there!  Sounds like some pompous hillbilly from the Ozarks.  

Kendrick attempts to charm me.  “I am smiling Charlotte.  Do you think I would ask for help if I had the money?”  

Charlotte is not smiling, nor does she think it is funny that he blew through $30K and had to ask her for $14K on top of it.  That comment sent me into another level.  Kendrick tries to answer Charlotte’s taunts about the nature of his business.  You see, these are INDUSTRIAL log splitters and wood chippers you see.  They are not small backyard tools.  (No they are not.  I will prove it to him).  Time to bring up Irving.  Irving has looked at the part and it is definitely residential equipment.  These are meant for private parties and are certainly not meant to be operated every day.  Sensing the danger he asks Charlotte to not be angry.  I love this.  He is trapped and can’t fight back the way he wants to.  Charlotte sends him a pic of his broken Japa 235 which has plastic wheels and retails for $7100 - far less than what the agent said it was for - over $11K.  

I have about 7 more pages of this back and forth before Kendrick finally did go off to bed.  But the argument is still out there and I plan on picking it up the very next day.  Charlotte has a meeting with Irving to go over this request and re-examine it, so he’s currently sweating this a bit.  He’ll get more bossy in the next one as he feels this slipping away.  

The Kendrick Interview - Peeling back his banana of lies & Industrial Wood Chippers - Part 14