The road we did and did not take

Dearest G,

I know I said I dont have much to say, that I’ve made peace with it but i guess healing is really not linear, no?

I swallowed the bitter truth, for months, that while I spent my days wasting away, trying to heal from the broken pieces you’ve made of me, maybe it meant nothing to you. That the time I spent finding peace, was only another day for you. You left me—ghosted me. I did not deserve that, and you know it. Im still grateful with how you touched my life, how you opened my eyes to see light again, but as bright as you came, casted a bigger shadow and void—still im grateful that i met you, even if we ended, even if “we” never existed in your perspective.

I came across a post the other day, and it gave me enough. It said that dreams may be a vision, a version of ourselves in another universe. I dreamt about you before seeing that, and in that dream—you were how you used to be when we first met, only in my dream it was so much more. When i woke up, i had tears streaming down my face, bittersweet tears. At least in my dreams, or in another universe, I got to see a version of “us”. A version where you loved and cherished me—all of me, broken and all. Not only did you build me up again, but you stood by my side. I know that is far from reality in this world, but at least i know, there might be a possibility that you chose me, that i was worthy of love, every ounce of it. I can only dream about that, for now, I’ll still love you until its no longer a storm.

I wish you well, I wish you all the love you want and deserve. Please take care of yourself and i hope if you ever find the person you’re willing to open yourself up to, I hope they also love you. You and your family are always in my prayers. Good bye, baby

-S.