I feel so weak, I don't know what to do anymore

I feel lonely, I have so much going on rn and I feel so lonely. I've been sick since I was 12 and last year got cured, I had cfs. it went better the last month but everything collapsed this and last month. my mum got a tia, grandma had the ambulance, grandpa is getting surgery. made a friend talked to her and had a super open convo about my ex with her but my ex was there too, so now he's hurt while honestly he has hurted me so much more and I finally told my side of the story. my new friend (his bonus older sister) told me I was 100% in the right and he needs to see the truth, but I hurted him and that hurts me so now I'm afraid I lost a dear friend. my niece will get annoyed at me if I tell her bc she dislikes him (honestly all men) so I can't talk to her about it bc she's lesbian and hates men so she doesn't have super much empathy for it. i don't find it fair to tell my new friend bc I don't wanna burden her. my therapist is useless bc she's searching for a diagnoses while I have no mental illness or disability except for dyslexia but she doesn't listen to me, so instead of helping me and letting me tell my struggles and how to fix them I've been filling in form and questions for months. my dad doesn't listen to me and didn't help me at all with the tia of my mom. he basically ignores me, and then takes my idea and says he's super smart. and my other grandparents haven't even asked how I was after my mums tia, only my mum and dad. I feel like I don't fit in, I wanna cry, I wanna scream, i feel myself starting to spiral but if I stop my whole family collapses. I just want rest, I want a hug, I wanna tell my true feelings but I know it will hurt people. I have so many responsibilities to give up, i feel heavy and cant sleep well at all. I can sleep for hours but won't get energy. all I want is a happy life, and to relax, to have a boyfriend who loves and respects me, and I do the same for him. I want a mother who is doing fine, a healthy grandfather. I just want to feel like a human and not like a machine that needs to keep going. I wanna be hold and cared for. is that too much to ask? I feel burned out at just 18