I've really been struggling the past few days tbh

I had gone months without having a relapse, but got triggered last week. The past week my mental health has just been declining more and more. I took a day off of work yesterday to try and get back to a place mentally where I could actually focus on my work. But it hasn't been this bad in a while. I'm not even just thinking about my r*pe anymore. I'm having intrusive thoughts about sexual harassment growing up as a kid too. I had a very.... Incestuous group of cousins growing up. And very dismissive parents. I'm just so angry and so frustrated. Idk what to do with all this anger and pain. I feel like it's been so long and yet I'm still back here again. I don't feel like a survivor. I just feel like life has dragged me along enough that I seem like I have my shit together when in reality I'm ready to fall apart at any moment. It's exhausting. Idk If I can be helped. Thinking about trying therapy a Third time. But idk if my heart can take opening up to ANOTHER person who just makes me feel worse.