Delivered some tough feedback: what now? What are reasonable expectations and accommodations?

I posted about a challenge with someone I manage a few days ago - https://www.reddit.com/r/AutismInWomen/s/tyrf0dAtNn - basically, I'm autistic, I manage someone autistic who's great but upsets other people with her communication and attitude.Well, I spoke to her and it was a mixed reaction.

She overall was open but it wasn't an easy conversation from either side.

• She says her needs aren't being taken into account: people are upsetting her by ignoring her position and telling her to meet and discuss is exhausting and ignores her needs and creates extra work for her. I've said we need someone to be the bigger person: if we're in a vicious cycle (her being ignored, others finding her obnoxious) then nothing will change. I've given her the option of escalating to me when people ignore her expertise and gave a framework for what's appropriate v not.
• She genuinely believes she is good with stakeholders and colleagues. When I gave her the example of something that just happened she did listen but took it as an isolated incident. When I said 'I worry that this is exactly what her previous manager was talking about' she said there was no point in speculating. I said 'You told me to give you prompt feedback, I only have this specific example right now. Would you prefer that I give you feedback immediately on this stuff or get 10 examples and then give feedback' she chose the latter so we'll see how that goes.
• She wants to be more strategic and impact big decisions but she doesn't want to play by the 'rules' (she wants to bypass people who don't listen to her even if they're more senior). She doesn't think the rules are fair and I agree with her but... we can't change that.
• She doesn't want to do parts of her job that she doesn't like and that she's not good at (eg spending energy on communicating in a way that suits others needs). I highlighted the specific expectations of her role and that I can't argue for a promotion for her (which she wants) if there's a question on her meeting current expectations. I said I want her to consider if there's another role that she'd prefer that we can discuss that does better match what she wants to do.
• She said maybe she should quit because she won't have this problem elsewhere. I asked her what would be different.

I'm autistic. I find this stuff exhausting. I don't know that I want to deal with this stuff and wonder if I'm even cut out for management. I agree with a lot of what she says but I need some perspective on what are reasonable expectations to have of her and what are reasonable accommodations? I want to check my privilege and understand just because I've learned how to move in a neurotypical world, what's actually fair to expect of the autists?