How do I identify red flags in girl friendships? Like I end up giving them a benefit of doubt and get stabbed in the back every damn time, so draining.

I’ve had a real bad kismat in friendships, like how do I even end up attracting such people and end up wasting so much effort, time and energy.

1. My school bestfren abandoned me for a guy she was dating. He disrespected me infront of her and she did nothing to stop him. I left and didn’t talk to her for 2 years while she kept reaching out, finally we got back together.

Again, she started dating this guy, I’d spend hours and hours talking to her whenever he’d make her cry, cheated on her. She vanished again, she’d vanish everytime she was doing good in life and got back with the same guy. Meanwhile someone really close to me in my family passed away. It took me months of crying and sleepless nights to recover. She never reached out, not a single text. Later I discovered that she’d moved to a different country and hid her stories from me and here I thought she was going through a tough time and kept reaching out to her.

2. This other school friend, basically leeches off me. I moved away for college and every semester break, I’d bring her gifts. Never gave me a chocolate on my birthday even. We’d go out and I’d pay everytime cause I felt that if she’s giving me a ride, I’d atleast pay. The only time she offered to pay and later claimed she had no money, so I ended up paying.

She only reaches out if she wants to get something done. We’d go on runs everyday and she’d ask me to wake her up, spend like 5 minutes to convince her to come along. Even on days we didn’t go, she’d want me to wake her up cause I’m an early riser aha. She won’t meet me on the main road instead I’d to take a detour and wait for her to get ready, at her place. No communication apart from this, even though we’d meet everyday. I don’t find refuge in her. I don’t like to share things with her, cause every single plan I’ve told her about, it never ended up happening😀.

This one time, she got all panicky that her parents are planning to get her married and asked me to get her a job. I asked this friend of mine, who works in talent acquisition for leads, mind you he works 12+ hours a day, still spent his time creating a CV from scratch for someone he didn’t even know. As soon as

Madamji got her CV, she went no contact again, no updates even.

On my birthday, we went to this place, and the plan was to explore around for like 2 hours and have dinner aka my birthday treat at 7pm. She was hungry since morning😀. Legit asked me to get her burgers and coffee packed to eat beforehand. I paid for the tickets plus. She didn’t even let me decide where to eat fyi birthday bhi mera, treat meri, aur paise bhi mujhe hi dene. Still won’t agree to what I wanted to have. And subtly overshadowed me.

Now it’s her birthday next month, she hasn’t reached out apart from asking me to go on runs with her again(an excuse to make me her alarm clock again). Should I get back at her, on her birthday?