[AR] Crucial Conversations: Keyboard Edition

I’m in a bit of a flex-role right now. I’m newer to this particular team dynamic and not officially a permanent member of the group, but we all work within HR and collaborate closely. So I’m still calibrating norms and figuring out how feedback typically flows.

Which makes this feel mildly ironic: our department literally teaches communication frameworks (Crucial Conversations, direct feedback models, etc.).

Apparently the person who sits next to me found my keyboard too loud. Instead of mentioning it to me directly, she brought it up in a group setting, while I wasn’t there, and it eventually made its way back to me.

The issue itself? Completely minor. I switched to a quieter keyboard immediately. No ego, no pushback. Easy fix.

What’s lingering is the fact that it became a group conversation before it was ever a one-on-one. There wasn’t really anything to “defend,” but it’s still an odd feeling to learn something about you was discussed publicly without you present, especially when the solution would’ve been a quick, “Hey, would you mind switching keyboards?”

I value direct feedback because it keeps small things small. Once something gets routed through a group, even if it’s minor, it feels bigger than it needs to be.

She’s pretty quiet, so I’m trying to assume conflict avoidance rather than bad intent. And I fully realize this is minor in the grand scheme of things. It’s just one of those small workplace moments that makes you pause and think about communication patterns, especially when you’re still navigating your place on a team.

Is this just normal low-level avoidance? Or is it worth gently resetting expectations by saying something like, “If anything’s ever distracting, feel free to tell me directly”?

Curious how others would handle it.