How did my life become meaningless and hopeless

Hey everyone, sorry if my story gets long and takes too much of your time.

Warning: This is a long story about real incidents that happened in my life. I am facing a lot of trauma and it may be triggering for some of you, so please do not read it if you are not comfortable. My story starts in my childhood when I was nine years old. At that time, my family started falling apart and my life, which now feels meaningless, began to change. My father was an army man at that time. In 2018 he retired after 18 years of service. From that year on, his mental health started getting worse. He began sexually harassing my sisters. I am the only boy and I have two sisters. He treated me like a pig who only needed to be fed. He forced me to drink five cups of milk every day and eat many high sugar foods. At that time, I thought it was care but sometimes the milk tasted strange. One day, my mother found out that my father was mixing his sperm and urine into our milk. He slowly became more violent and beat us like animals. He psychologically broke every member of our family. He also started coming to our school with the excuse that he wanted to drop us off but instead he treated the school like his territory. He shouted at people, harassed students, took photos of female teachers and uploaded them to social media. I have no evidence because he controlled my actions at that time. He also made many videos about female teachers, our Prime Minister and his own achievements, though I do not know what achievements he was talking about. He sometimes caused problems with other family members. Our family is divided into two parts. The other side has five members, including my grandparents, my uncle, my aunt and their two children. At one point, my father attacked my uncle and tried to kill him. One day, he even attempted to harm my uncle’s youngest child, but all the family members stopped him. My grandfather called the police, but the Indian police did not help. They ignored everything and said it was just a family problem that would be solved eventually. Even now I am facing mental trauma, PTSD, memory problems, low self respect and lack of confidence. All I have is my phone and my sisters. I stay in my room and watch other people’s lives online. I feel like I am losing myself. All I want is to give my sisters a normal life. I feel like a coward who is running from the situation but I have no independence or support. In 2025 I graduated from 10th grade and planned to start 11th grade but my father refused to give me money for admission. I have not even collected my 10th grade mark sheet because of high anxiety and overthinking. I have isolated myself and confused my own mind. I do not know what to do anymore. I am exhausted by my family situation. The only thing that gives me comfort is watching or reading anime, manga, novels and other stories. Sometimes I think about dying so I can isekai myself but I am afraid. I have no support system but I am hoping that through social media connections, maybe my life can become a little better for my sisters and for me.

Please Help me