Becoming self aware

I M35, I take full responsibility in destroying my marriage, because I have adhd and I was going unmedicated up until recently which is 100% my fault. My main symptoms that I know now are inattentiveness, impulsive emotions which lead to deflecting and defensive behaviors when getting into an argument or conflict with my wife. when she gives me corrective criticism or suggestions I take it as an attack instead of help and I get defensive. Because of my inattentiveness I always get her the wrong things on holidays and anniversaries or in general when I want to do something nice for her. I also don't notice when the kids need new clothes or new shoes. I have problem planning events and other things. Failing to follow through with promises. I take ownership for not getting help sooner I have become self aware and can see all the damage I have caused my wife and kids. 2 weeks ago we got into a big fight and devorce was mentioned for the 100th time in our 13 year marriage. She always tells me how miserable she is with me. and how she hates how she had to adapt to my behavior and how she sees me as an annoying little brother. How I am not worth all this trouble and so on. I am so tired of messing up my family and causing such a burden on my family that I went and had a consultation with a lawyer. When I told her she freaked out. I told her that I was going to do it for her best interest so she doesn't have to feel miserable and resentful and have to deal with all my red flags anymore and that she would be way better off and happier without me and that she would be able to find someone who can. She begged me to stay and not get a devorce, I asked her why she still wants to be with me even though I have all these red flags and issues and all the damage I have caused over the past 13 years. She couldn't answer me and I don't understand why she wants to be with me still. Do any wifes on here have an idea why she is willing to put up with me?