wont let me connect to any servers without using a VPN + direct connection

I've been playing on a small modded server with friends and for some reason I'm unable to join any servers with the mods I have installed. I have a bunch of clientsides on top of the server's mods, but the same issue happens without my personal clientside mods installed. Basically, the game won't let me connect to any multiplayer servers, just reading "Pinging..." with a red 'X' on the connection bars until the game....crashes. The only way I've found to circumvent this is by installing a VPN and using direct connection with the server address (just VPN still crashes the game). After that I have no more problems, no other crashes, etc. It's just happening when the game is attempting to connect to multiplayer.

I've chatted with the server owner and other members, and none of them are having the same issue and are able to connect without a VPN and have not had any of these problems. Same mods, bc again removing my extra clientside mods didn't change anything.

I'm also launching through modrinth if that affects anything. 1.20.1, forge.

Does anyone know any mods that would cause something like this to happen?? It would be nice to have a place to start looking for the source of the issue and I'm totally blanking on what could be causing connection issues. I've checked unmodded, as well, and it connects perfectly fine--so it isnt my internet.