Is this valid??

I'm not necessarily asking for advice or anything, but I just need a second opinion. TW! for semi-detailed descriptions of sh given for context:

!Because of some circumstances in my life, I've resorted back to relapsing just to vent out the negative feelings and frustrations in my conscience. I usually strangle myself with a rope (used for camping) or those bathrobe tie thingies when I want something more textured for my throat. Sometimes these can last for like 10-15 minutes, and they're not TOO tight to totally cut off blood circulation, but they're strong enough for me to feel extremely lightheaded (and make my head feel like it's gonna explode, especially when I use the rope). I only stop once I start to cough really badly and feel extremely doozy to the point of sleeping. It's very rare that I actually get marks from these because I don't necessarily use makeup, and also just because I don't want my parents to find out. !<

!But usually, after I relapse, I get severe coughing fits, temporary headaches (happens hours after said relapse), and a permanently aching throat (yay). Still, it doesn't deter me from doing it again days or hours after.!<

!However, I genuinely don't know whether this is even a valid form of sh, only because on social media apps like Tiktok often showcase the more 'traditional methods' (e.g. cutting). Also, maybe because I haven't really seen any validation from other reddit posts or any current sites I've read regarding sh, it's making me self doubt if I'm really doing it all for dramatic attention or just for the 'thrill of it'. But just to elaborate, I feel shitty after doing it. I don't feel happy at all.!<

Any and all comments are helpful.