Am I asking for too much or ignoring red flags? 24F 24M

I (24F) have been with my boyfriend (25M) for a while now, on and off. About 10 months ago, he cheated on me with my best friend. We broke up for a bit, but still hangout and text regularly. We were together 4 years.

Since then, I’ve struggled with feeling truly valued and secure in the relationship. He says he sees me in his future and that he knows he’ll marry me one day, but he also says he “needs time” to get over whatever he’s going through personally. He says it’s hard for him to be the man I need right now.

The problem is, I want to be married around 2028. I’m very intentional about my life (career, finances, future plans). I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect effort and intentionality.

There are moments where I feel like I’m asking for basic things: Thoughtfulness Feeling chosen Emotional support Effort without me having to spells everything out Sometimes it feels like I care more. Like I’m trying to build something and he’s just “seeing where life goes.”

He says he loves me. He says he sees marriage with me. But his actions don’t always match that certainty. And after the cheating, it’s hard not to question everything.

Am I being impatient?

Or am I ignoring the fact that someone who’s unsure about timing and effort may not actually be ready for the kind of future I want?

I don’t want to waste my mid-20s waiting on potential.

I just want clarity.