Frustrated with myself

Childhood emotional neglect, = core wound of, I don't matter. So when I meet people - a guy, a potential friend - and they don't seem to see or understand me or treat me how I would like to be, I'm hurt, a take it as rejection, and I more or less cut them off. Even my family, my sisters and mum, who I know do care in their own way - just because they don't seem to listen to me, reach out or understand me, I'm distancing myself, even though some human connection/community is probably better than isolating. It's leaking out into all aspects of my life. I was working in a caring role, but now I think my capacity is reduced, how can I care for others in the best way, if they only knew the mess of my life and how much I dislike most others and myself. What kind of life do I have to look forward to? I think I need to take myself to a meditation class, try and pause the rumination, try to let go.