My hair is a legit disaster and I don’t know where to start!

Hi all! I’m new here so apologies if these issues have been addressed a million times. I’m having issues with my curly hair and I don’t even know where to begin.

I have very fine 3a hair, a lot of it. It looks far thicker than it is and now it’s very long, almost waist length. It’s very prone to frizz, gets dried out easily, but gets weighed down by products just as easily. I have literally never found a product (or maybe just haven’t yet mastered a routine) that doesn’t either cause my hair to instantly dry out or become frizzy or just look greasy. For this reason, I’ve straightened my hair most days since I was about 12. I’m now 33, so it’s been a long time.

What I’m currently dealing with now is extremely dry, heat damaged hair that barely holds a curl and is frizzy from root to tip. I’ve used the revlon blow dry brush for a while and now have such bad breakage. I also recently moved to a place with more humid weather 😅.

I need help with every aspect - what products do I use? What is the best minimalist routine? I’ve never had luck with diffusers. I’m also a mom to 2 under 3 with limited time and I have to shower/wash hair at night so I need to be able to sleep on my curls and have them look decent the next day. If someone could tell me where to begin to fix this mess it would be greatly appreciated🙏🏼

Thank you in advance!!