Feeling like a failure at times

I know this has nothing to do with not drinking. If anything, I was running away from this feeling by drinking. I've got a good decade of shoving my feelings deep down. Now small moments of anxiety suddenly open tears worth of emotional pain.

I've come to accept I place too much value on what others think. I've been a perfectionist, high performer my whole life. I thought it's because I had a sense of pride in my work, but the reality is I need external validation.

I feel internally empty, so I over extend myself to get praise from others. When I can't deliver, I feel like a failure. Recently I've been overwhelmed by a house project and have just been punishing myself for not knowing how to deliver. I know I'm a good person with a hard task. I just can't shed the shame of struggling so much with something conceptually simple.

I know the answer is to find compassion for myself. Really struggling to do so, and could use any support/advice you all have