I finally convinced myself of fully being a bottom, and start to feel truly hopeless...

soo.... my situation is a bit weird, i've repressed all my life the fact of being gay, or bisex ... I am here to ask for advice because i am not sure how to proceed, or even if my tastes could attract at all anyone... we all know that a man can be a top, bottom, or versatile , and myself... i finally convinced myself and admitted to myself to be 100% a bottom, and i think im not a bottom in the regular way... or maybe never met anyone with the same particular tastes ... i both love sucking cocks and getting fucked, i love getting my asshole licked or lick the asshole of my partner, and i am also very ...VERY ok with getting fucked rough, even with a big cock, or even fisted which i have never tried yet !! so its not like i am a boring bitch you cant have fun with .... but one thing i truly hate and is a deal breaker for me, is getting my cock sucked or even touched .... this is the reason why i am here asking for advice ... will i truly ever find a serious man thats ok with with this fucked up way of feeling ?? because yes.... i realize myself is fucked up this kink or whatever you wanna call it ... thing is , i am 33 years old, i never truly had an actual relationship.... From the age of 16-17 to around 24-25 when i started experiment with sex/love it was very easy to find "partners" for now i realize was just quick sex, and i was basically just used like fuck toy by this older perverts and discarded straight after .... but i was young and stupid , and just hoping to find the true love.... thing is , that now being 33 years old while i describe my particular tastes to new people i talk to, i cant find anyone even to try a relationship .... am i destined to die alone ? i dont pretend to deserve a super gorgeous and young man !! i just want a partner who's decent to treat each other with love and respect, .... if anyone is also in france (tolouse) and maybe wanna chat at bar or a at restaurant of whatever , i would be truly happy and grateful... but im also ok chatting more in private online, or through this post