[ 619] Opening paragraphs of novel and questions

Critique: [729] Echoes of Ash and Bone

I've done two versions of the opening paragraphs of the novel. I'm trying to figure out how they're being perceived. Which opening do you like better. Additionally, what are your thoughts on these two questions? Two alpha readers had some strong feelings, and I'm trying to see if I can address them a bit. Both have the same ending identified by 🔵 at the start and finish. 🔵

🟢🟢***Thank you so much in advance!***🟢🟢

Q1: What do you think has been happening between these two before this moment

Q2: At this point, who do you feel more sympathetic toward: Sarah, John, or neither?

🔴Version 1:🔴

Sarah texted John yet again: Where the fuck are you? There had been no response to the prior three texts. “I can’t believe he screwed up this trip so badly!”  She thought, This damn trip was supposed to be a birthday celebration for both of us, and reconnecting since we’ve been so busy. She picked up the itinerary for today’s trip to the Burgundy region, and just slammed it down on the table.

Their reservation for the helicopter was 90 minutes ago. She even checked whether she could salvage the trip to the second vineyard. And she still hadn’t heard back from him.

**You’d better have been kidnapped.**

She checked their location finder app. He was with the investment bankers from yesterday? “What the fuck? Those meetings were supposed to take one day! If work always comes first, even on a weekend when we had plans? I’m out.”

🔵 Sarah rebooked her flight back to Chicago. She packed quickly, shoving things in violently but with military precision. Using the hotel’s stationery, she left a note for her boyfriend. It remained to be seen if he’d retain the title.

Went home early. Going back to my condo when I land. She checked their location finder app. He was with the investment bankers from yesterday? “What the fuck? Those meetings were supposed to take one day! If work always comes first, even on a weekend when we had plans? I’m out.”

Sarah rebooked her flight back to Chicago. She packed quickly, shoving things in violently but with military precision. Using the hotel’s stationery, she left a note for her boyfriend. It remained to be seen if he’d retain the title.

*Went home early. Going back to my condo when I land.*🔵

🔴***Version 2:***🔴

Sarah texted John: Where the fuck are you? 

An hour earlier: **John, where are you?** Sarah texted John while looking at her watch. She thought to herself we’re going to be late. Out loud, she tried to steady herself a bit, “Ok, we still have a little time, hopefully this will still work.” She sat down for fifteen minutes to run through a breathing exercise.

No response, time was really starting to run out.

**Are you ok? If not, what can I do? If so, do you need to meet me at the heliport? “**Where could he have possibly gone,” Sarah said to the empty room.

Looking at the clock, “We need to be out in five.” She started looking through her itinerary for their day trip to the Burgundy Region.

Where the fuck are you? 

I’m worried and pissed.

The departure time had passed an hour ago, and still no reply. “I can’t believe he screwed up this trip so badly!”  She thought, This damn trip was supposed to be a birthday celebration for both of us, and reconnecting since we’ve been so busy. She picked up the itinerary for the day trip, and just slammed it down on the table.

Their reservation for the helicopter had passed. She even checked whether she could salvage the trip to the second vineyard. And she still hadn’t heard back from him.

**You’d better have been kidnapped.**

🔵 She checked their location finder app. He was with the investment bankers from yesterday? “What the fuck? Those meetings were supposed to take one day! If work always comes first, even on a weekend when we had plans? I’m out.”

Sarah rebooked her flight back to Chicago. She packed quickly, shoving things in violently but with military precision. Using the hotel’s stationery, she left a note for her boyfriend. It remained to be seen if he’d retain the title.

*Went home early. Going back to my condo when I land.*🔵