Family Drama

I have an older brother, and I don't have a good relationship with him. Of course, this hurts my mom, so she keeps telling me to forget about all, and just be good with him. Honestly, I wish I could, so that we can all move on, but I just simply cannot. I think he is extremely disrespectful towards me, but I am also coming from a patriarchal society, which means that I am the only one who thinks that way. Nobody blames my brother for the way he treats me. I am the guilty one. Sometimes, even I question whether the things in my head actually happened. This whole drama is hurting me so much, because I am so tired of telling my mother to let me be. It is affecting my relationship with her too. So...that's that!