need advice i’m [24m] she’s [20f]

my girlfriend and i are currently doing long distance and she went to hangout with her friends. she told me that she didn’t want to drink or go out because she has schoolwork that she has to do and how she wants to spend time with me later. while she’s out she texts me “omg riley is driving us to get alcohol” and i respond with “oh just tell them u don’t want to drink” and she says “i meant that in an excited way”. now im just confused because i thought she was going to spend time with me and also she has schoolwork to do but i tell her i love her and to have fun. an hour goes by and i tell her how i feel weird about the whole situation but how im not mad at her it just made me feel weird because she said she wasn’t going out. she then texts me this “i’m literally not going out what i haven’t drank in months, i never go out, i never hang out with anyone, i literally never do anything and it is one saturday night where i told you that i was going to hang out with livvy afterwards that’s crazy”. i tell her how i thought she was going to go out and i said my bad. she doesn’t respond for 30 minutes and it’s getting late and i text her saying “i’m probably gonna fall asleep soon i love u goodnight” she then says “i’m pretty upset about what you said but goodnight i love you”. to which i say “i just thought u were going out i wasn’t blaming u or anything i was just trying to share my feelings “ and she says how she just wanted to have fun with her friend. i tell her im not mad at her for having fun with her friend and she says “seems like it”. she then texts me later at 1am saying this (i know it’s long im sorry)

“i don’t think we should talk right now, i’m not in the right state of mind to conduct myself properly in a conversation, that said i think it’s very concerning that the one night that i have to myself and i spend with my best friend just having fun you have a problem with. i have never disrespected you. not when ive been out, not when i haven’t. if you were to go out with your friends regardless of whether or not you said you’d spend time with me i’d be happy for you. do you know why? because i love you. because even just the idea of you being happy makes me so happy. because i want nothing more for you than everything that you want. i had one single night out of all the nights that i have spent with you where i (when you had texted me) had been 10 minutes (literally 10 minutes later) than i said i would initially be home. 10 minutes. and you got upset with me because you assumed that i was out when i didn’t even say i was. when i spend every single night with you, i don’t go out, i don’t get drunk, i do everything in my power to make sure that i prioritize your feelings and your happiness and still i spend one night with my friend and i get a paragraph talking about how you’re upset that i said i wasn’t going out. i’m

not getting upset with you for expressing your feelings. i’m upset because there are incredibly valid concerns in the fact that that was how you felt and that that was why you felt that way. i love you, goodnight. “

then sends this “i just feel like i spend every single day of my life working as hard as i can towards everything that i want and you know that and you see that legitimately more than anyone else, and still i take one night where im innocently having fun with someone who i love and who loves me and you not only assume bad intentions but are entirely willing to turn that into a problem. that is a very red flag. that is very unsupportive. you could’ve asked me when i’d be home, you could’ve asked me if i was going out, you could’ve even been like “hey i miss you and i love you and i hope you’re having fun!” but instead you got upset with me for something that

a. you didn’t know i was doing and i didn’t even do

and

b. the one good night that i’m having independent of you

and you’re allowed to get upset with me, but i’m also entirely allowed to evaluate and form an opinion on that, and the way that i see it is we have had a great day where we didn’t argue and there were no problems and i had a rough 3 hour period that i didn’t spend with you and that turned into you having issue that turned i to my obligation when i never had one. if you want me to be spending time with you that’s fine, if you miss me that’s fine, but that doesn’t mean that i’ve wronged you. that doesn’t mean that its fair of you to take a night that i’m spending having fun and turn it into one where i have to justify my extracurricular. where i feel bad for staying 10 minutes late at an apartment where you probably would have just fallen asleep once you got on the phone with me anyway (and i haven’t once gotten upset with you for breaking the promise you made to spend time with me when you fall asleep or have something come up)“

i think the whole thing is just so ridiculous and i don’t know what to do.