Verilux

I like the way she makes me feel, Euphoric, Content,accompanied. Just to name a few. A feeling of a warm weighted blanket on a cold winter night, a social butterfly loved by friends and family. An anxiety relief around unknown people, a glimpse of love after a hard day at work. I love how she always appears when i need her and disappears as fast as i dont. I love the buildup of anxiety when i know i will see her soon, it makes the hate of not having her intense which makes seeing her even better. I convince myself i dont need her but she is always there lingering in my head, it’s hard to sleep without her even if the sleep is poor. Her absence makes me wanna be alone. How could i talk if not with her. The anxiety turns into suicidal dread just thinking at never seeing her again. And the artificial love that she provides as I lay down alone in bed, leaving just as fast as she came. Damaging with each visit.