Thoughts?

Ive decided (i think) i wanna do it at the end of this year. I feel quite free knowing i have like 200days of this painful shit life. I really dont care about my future. I feel fulfilled with my life experience and i dont mind if i die. Im not scared. Im in uni and i couldn’t give af about my grades no more because i know none of this matters no more. Ive been spending most of my time this year alone and i think im done.

But

Now is how to do it. Ive read so many experiences and i dont want to be unsuccessful with it. I would be even more pissed off if i end up a vegetable. Wish there was a reason to legalize a safe suicide yk.

Another thought is the people around me. It always put me off doing it. But now oh my god i really couldnt give a fuck, ill be dead anyway..