Am I the problem?

I have been with this company since Jan 2024, this was a huge career change for me and I was so scared. I was hired on by a good family friend who promised that I wasn’t going to fail and she would teach me everything… forward to October 25, she writes me up. There is 6 things on the write up that I am doing wrong but only two had been mentioned before so okay fair on those two. I take the write up and then go cry in the bathroom because I have horrible anxiety. Well a couple weeks later I send her an email asking for a quick chat on what I can do to improve.. she says “I am in meetings for the rest of this week, we can follow up next week.” Next week comes and she’s busy as shit, then it’s the holidays and I wait for a calmer time. I send a follow up email in Jan just asking to revisit it.. response is “in case you haven’t noticed I am extremely busy.” So I just ignored that.. now it’s time for our annual reviews… she had given all of my coworkers their reviews and bonuses (I expect neither, just want the coaching) but it’s been very secretive… what do I do?! Like I am in hell going to work every day.

Before you say go to HR… I am in HR.