I wanna eat soap

I (25f) know it is a very specific disorder, but I can’t seem to understand the reason of it. Have you had clients with pica who specifically ate soap and what were the reasons? Whenever I smell white soap I just want to take a huge bite??? And sometimes the urge is so strong that I have to like squeeze it until I let some aggression out. I don’t have ocd but I love the smell of it so much that sometimes I wash my hands with it for 5 minutes straight. Haven’t eaten it yet, but it’s starting to get annoying trying to ignore the urge.

The fuck is wrong with me?