Verbal and emotional abuse

Posting with alt account and will be deleting soon.

I have been married for 13 years and we have two kids.

I don’t remember being happy in the marriage but I’m from a traditional background and divorce is seen as a taboo.

The patterns I see are verbal abuse, texting mean things over text and when I block him, he emails them. He spirals from minor accusations to big ones. He yelled at me when I told him I’m voting progressive. He thinks anyone that doesn’t support Trump is not a Christian. His main purpose is to use religion as a manipulation tool. I have found a way to disassociate but it impacts our kids.

I actually gathered some courage to leave him a few years back and we were separated for about 1 year. He came back begging and said he had changed. I was foolish.

Recently, he accused me of not getting him anything for Valentine’s Day (I’ve never bought him gifts on v day) maybe I should have but I don’t normally get him v day gifts. I have bought him gifts on other holidays though. Just never occurred to me. I guess I have the wrong mindset of the woman should be spoiled on vday?

Anyways, he got mad about that and about other things like I don’t kiss him right.

I have to be honest and admit that I don’t necessarily like him or his views on topics I care about. It’s been difficult to look past some of that.

Now he has called my parents and told them I don’t have sex with him, I don’t cook for him and that I don’t use his profile pic on my social media. He has also said to them that he wants to divorce me. I don’t feel bad about the prospect of being separated from him again. I honestly find so much peace without him. I’m just worried about our kids and how to navigate the toxic cycle.

Sorry for the long rant. I don’t have any friends to talk to about this. Just need to vent and maybe someone to tell me if I’m overreacting