How to safely deal with high sex drive,dating at 40 but recently divorced?

Hello, Divorce was finalized in Oct and I will be 40 in Sept of this year. My ex cheated on me when I was pregnant with our 2nd child, the entire pregnancy, so I have felt physically and emotionally abandoned for quite some time now. Im sick of being sad and I am healing and going to therapy for the psychological part. I have not had sex in a year and have not had sex since I had my baby who is now 9 months old. It's been awhile. Before the baby came it was even longer cuz our relationship was over after I found his phone. I haven't been able to "test drive" these tied tubes!!!! This makes me angry and resentful towards him and makes me think "he got to have fun with someone else while we were married and gets to probably have fun now that we're divorced" but Im over here trying to take time and heal and do it the right way but let's face it, I just want to have fun!!!! Sadly in the world we live in, how do you divorced women have those so called "sexual revolutions" safely!!? I have a 4 yr old and a 9 month old and cant really be risky anymore. And I've watched enough true crime. Lol im not a stranger to online dating but haven't been single for 10 years. Help thanks