Left a 6 year relationship and not upset?

Why am not upset? I’m dumped him finally after years of abuse, flirting with others girls, snapping others behind my back, lying, abuse, calling me names, making me feel so insecure.

But years of my life, we got together at 16, I’m now 22. He was there all throughout such an important time in life. So why am I not a mess? Why am I not crying when I think about him. It hasn’t even been 2 weeks of NC, I’ve had my moments, I’ve journaled multiple times a day, but I still don’t feel that sadness.

We lived together the past 2 years, I’ve moved back with my parents now, lost my job, the flat, my independence and that’s what bothers me more than losing him?

Is this normal? Did I already leave emotionally? I feel almost bad for not feeling sad. I’m not thinking about moving on or anything and I still think about him every waking minute. I don’t know I’m just confused.