She[29F] left me[36M] after 8 years in an emotional abusive relationship I thought knew I could handle now I don’t know how to rebuild

I [34M] recently got out of an 8-year relationship that was emotionally abusive. The thing is I always knew it was abusive. I wasn’t blind to it. I just thought I was strong enough to handle it.

Over time, I lost friendships, stopped maintaining any real online presence, and slowly built my life around surviving the relationship. She became my main emotional outlet and daily contact. My world got smaller, but I told myself I could manage it. Now that it’s over, I feel completely disoriented.

I don’t have friends anymore at all not even online. I don’t have much of a support system only my mom but shes old and very sickly. I don’t feel like I have a strong sense of identity outside of that relationship. It’s like I spent 8 years in endure mode and now I don’t know who I am without that dynamic. Emotionally I’m cycling between anger, relief, grief, fear, and emptiness. I’m not confused about whether it was unhealthy, I knew it was. What I’m struggling with is:

How do you rebuild your identity after years of knowingly tolerating something harmful?, How do you make friends again in your 30s after long-term isolation?,How do you stop defining yourself by what you endured?

edit: I’ve just finished all the NHS therapy I can get for my disability, so I won’t have professional support again for a few months/years depending the line ahead of me. That therapy ended just two days ago, and then she left me today suddenly all the support I had in my life disappeared in a couple of days.

The abuse in the relationship wasn’t really aimed at me at first. She had been let down by other people who couldn’t handle her, and I thought I could. I never imagined it would eventually turn against me, and it all happened very slowly so i just kind of missed my life going away

TL;DR: I knowingly stayed in an 8-year abusive relationship. Now it’s over and I have no support system and feel like I don’t know who I am. How do I start rebuilding?