Do cheaters feel bad? 28F 30F

My ex (30F) and I (28F) were together for 6 years.

In July 2026 we completed on our first home together. I could have bought it alone, but I wanted her to be on the property ladder with me despite her not contributing to the deposit. I genuinely thought this was going to be one of the most special times in our lives.

TOP ADVICE: If you can afford to buy your first property alone, do it!! I am learning the hard way.

About a month ago I was using her computer (we’d been watching TV on it while renovating) when her messages started popping up from a coworker I’d never heard of. There were lots of texts suggesting a close friendship - lunches, constant chatting, etc.

I scrolled back through the messages and saw that in June, two weeks before we completed on the house, she had sent her coworker this:

“I want to f*** you into next week. What am I supposed to do about it? I fancy the f*** out of you, what am I supposed to do about it?”

The coworker replied saying she was flattered but had a boyfriend. Since then, they’ve broken up.

I felt sick reading it. I told my ex not to come back to the house because I needed total space, and I ended the relationship.

Looking back, she was always hiding her phone, keeping it on DND, and regularly coming home at 2–4am after “work drinks.” She hadn’t planned a date for me in a long time either.

I feel incredibly silly and hurt. I don’t understand how she could live with me, buy a house with me, and still carry on like that. I keep wondering if she feels guilty at all. Right now I just feel used. I wish she told me of this before I signed her onto the property.