The rush to be successful

Everyone seems to be in competition with each other to make their dreams a reality however, are you competing with them or yourself? If we are being honest no one wants average, no one wants to be left behind or be ordinary. It is my absolute believe that we all want to succeed and become a piece of this chess (world) and make a difference, all those desires tend to lead to us feeling the rush to build, scale, glow up, heal, “make it” but have we thought of the idea that maybe rush is the sickness? It is absolutely terrifying to live in a world where being “in progress” is seen as failure. Somehow not being rich, married, viral, healed, successful yet is a shame and we are being left behind. This is crucial to our anxiety; it becomes our permanent roommate.

Anxiety becomes an illness when we wake up thinking about what we haven’t achieved. We scroll through social media and measure ourselves with people we haven’t even met, we start attaching our worth to milestones making us chase success like a prey being chased by wolves and in the process, we forget the importance of working with our nervous system so it can grow and become stronger; our biggest tool to success. Having ambition is very normal and necessary to give us the push we may need to follow the steps to success, but not all ambition is healthy. Ambition can also be a fear of being insignificant, abandoned, poor, judge, unseen and for many successful is no longer a dream but survival. It is so important to comprehend that when we build our goals on unhealed trauma, we do not build freedom but instead we build a performance.

Recently, an influencer or nepo baby as some may call them, has been hitting rock bottom with other influencers. It is absolutely obvious that this girl is desperately seeking realness, love, peace, trust, friendship and somehow her peers don’t appreciate, understand or even intend to give the same effort or love back because it is easier to these individuals to hold on to the idea that this “nepo baby” is simply a step on their ladder to their own success. Instead of forming real friendships and genuinely bonding with one another people are more focus on what this girl can do for them or what’s on her platter rather than their own; as if having money will save this girl from struggles, trauma, pain, hurt; almost as if wealthy individuals do not have feelings. This girl has all the resources to become successful in anything she puts her heart into, but her anxiety and personal experiences have her stuck to the point of losing herself, allowing the bare minimum, almost paying to have people accompanying her as if she needed them at all. This is also a way of getting stuck on the way to success; for this girl is carrying baggage that it is not hers to carry, trauma for things she shouldn’t have had to see or heard, pain in the decisions that were out of her hands & the lack of realization that she has the opportunity that many of us don’t; which it is to be heard, to be followed, to do good. As per her peers they are stuck thanks to their own insecurities, lack of empathy, not feeling blessed for their own success, hating on what they have never experience or they don’t believe they can obtain or deserve, blind to the possibility that those feeling and being mean can be their worst enemy to their own success.

Let me be very clear, when you are obsessed with arriving you skip becoming. If you dent have the maturity to unpack your triggers, childhood, grief, patterns and you just run; this becomes exhausting and starts lacking evolution. Winning externally while collapsing internally is not success. If all you do is knock things out to get to your goal you will end up disappointed; you will then comprehend the emptiness no one warns you about. We always talk about what if we don’t make it, what if I fail, what if I am never as successful as I want to be but, have you actually sat to think what if you hit your goal? you get the money? you get the body? you get the platform? you get the applause? and then what? what happens when you reach your goal and you realize that the thing you thought would fix your emptiness was never designed to do that? Now, of course achievement can upgrade your lifestyle, but it cannot upgrade your inner wounds. If you felt unworthy before success, you will feel unworthy after success. If you felt empty before, you will feel empty in a bigger house.

Rushing to your goal and slow your growth and create numerous of issues like, chronic stress, decision fatigue, emotional numbness, burnout, shallow relationships. Love at times become strategic, rest feels guilty, joy becomes content, but real growth requires stillness and sadly, this feels terrifying to someone who has been running their whole life. Spiritually, desperation is mistrust and it narrows your vision. It makes you reactive instead of intentional, competitive instead of creative and driven instead of aligned; there is a difference between purpose and panic. Now, let’s look at it from another perspective, what if success is not something you chase but something you grow into? what if all you need to focus on is healing? what if your anxiety doesn’t mean go faster but instead go slower? what if the emptiness you feel is actually calling you inward? being successful does not equal being fulfilled.

Now, ask yourself these questions; if no one was watching, clapping or comparing would you still be running fast? or are you chasing something you were told would finally make you enough? because if you don’t feel enough now, no level of winning will fix that, and I will be a thousand percent honest; nothing is more terrifying and dangerous than to realize that after you have sacrificed everything to get there. you can grow fast but not deep; you are building businesses without building emotional stability, you are chasing visibility without developing identity, you are obsessed with leveling up your income while ignoring your triggers. That is not growth is expansion without foundation and expansion without foundation eventually collapses.

XOXO #Teamcommonsense