How Do I Recalibrate my Expectations for New Partners?

So, I think this community will get what I mean, as no one else seems to.

My exwbpd broke up with me back in October. I did my grieving, did my therapy, and I'm like 90% out of the woods. I'm dating a bit again, and I don't know how to put it, but everything feels like a candle compared to the forest fire I felt when my exwbpd and I were first dating.

I've got people telling me that I'm just not over her, and while maybe I'm lying to myself, I don't think that's what's happening here. You guys know the intensity they bring, the mirroring, the exuberance and the acceptance. I bet some of you felt like I did that "damn, this is what I've been waiting for my whole life, this finally feels right".

Now we all know that turns around very quickly, but it just makes everything else feel so bland in comparison.

So, am I less healed than I thought? Do I need to just reset expectations? Is that level of "wow this is it" possible with someone who isn't BPD?