Should I tell my therapist about my eating disorder despite not wanting to recover? Will he force me to address it?

I’m not diagnosed with anything but it is quite obvious that I have anorexia. I started under eating and over exercising to lose weight when I was in 5th grade, but it’s been on and off because sometimes I’m just too desperate for dopamine to not eat high calorie snacks, and I get too lazy to exercise. As of a year ago I’ve been resorting to under eating (but not exercising because I’m lazy) to lose weight, and it’s been getting pretty obvious to my therapist. He asks me if I’m eating enough, and I lie that I do and that I’m just on a diet (he asked me about what kind of diet and I just made up some bs), and even though I try not to make it obvious he has caught onto the fact that I have body dysmorphia. I feel like I should really not lie to my therapist, but also I really do not want to recover.

The thought of spending the rest of my life (which will probably be shortened if I keep this up) starving myself and not being able to partake in food-based hangouts, being more irritable (though I’m irritable either way unfortunately), losing my hair, keeping secrets, etc. sounds miserable, don’t get me wrong, but the only time I don’t hate my body is when I’m underweight, and I just can’t stand the thought of being at my natural weight again, and I’m 100% sure there is nothing that could make me want to recover, ever.

Even when I don’t starve myself, I can’t stand my body, I feel guilty eating, etc., and I don’t wanna deal with that or even grow to be comfortable with being fat. No hate to anyone else who is fat, I just don’t want that for myself, beauty is very important to me (appearance is really the only thing I’ve got going for me, and not being underweight makes **ME** look ugly, not speaking about anyone else though) and I will not sacrifice it for anything. If I tell my therapist just briefly that my eating habits are unhealthy but I do not want to address it now or ever, will he respect that or will he try to force me to address it? I would rather quit therapy than address it, but also he’s the best therapist I’ve ever had, and I really don’t wanna put myself in a position where I’ll be compelled to quit therapy. If that makes sense