What’s wrong with me ?

So I’m a 30 year old male and when I was like in 1st or 2nd grade I was cleaning the chalkboard behind a big projector used to watch movies . So my classmate came and pinned me against the board and started humping me and I froze up . I never told anyone so a couple years later I was around 9 or 10 on the computer and I had searched up humping or something sexual and porn popped up . Long story short I became addicted 2 to 3 times a day . So after that like a couple weeks later I remember me and my little cousin playing in the room he was like 7 or 6 . And idk why but I was like let’s play house and i recommend let’s touch each other privates . So a couple weeks later he had did the same thing to his brother and said I had taught him that . And my family had asked me and I lied and said we were wresting and I did it by mistake because I was scared that they were gonna see me as some monster . So fast forward to know as I got older the happy outgoing part of me faded away I’ve had a couple girls friends never no sex . I don’t have friends I don’t really go anywhere but me and my cousin are cool . Plus my family still treats me like they love me. They never brought it up but I still think about it plus I’m still a porn addict . I just wanna be the old outgoing me