Extreme fear of marriage due to ex obsessing over other men

Please genuine advice and no bashing. I’ve posted this before, last Ramadan but it’s a problem that’s stuck with me till this day

(M20) - around 2 years ago I took interest in a girl from my school who I thought was practicing , good character and a good potential wife. We used to be in the same classes for years so I knew her on some level

Both of us had mutual feeling and intentions for each other. (Now before anyone says I was wrong , yes I know and I have repented) but my mistake was that I agreed on waiting for marriage with her , without having involved her father or even my parents. We had discussed some values etc and then privately agreed ourselves to wait a couple of years until graduation. We agreed to not talk to each other in the meantime

I thought she was a really good women and she herself said she was loyal as well. But months after our agreement - I discovered her TikTok where she was posting and reposting very hayaless and inappropriate , sexualised videos of other men. Not just famous ones but even just some random attractive guy . A lot of them had very haram captions and comments

I was hurt obviously , she claimed her intentions for them wasn’t as bad I was assuming. But I believe she was lying and minimising and add on that trust was completely gone forever after she admitted lying whilst swearing on Allah’s name

I’ve cut all ties with her. Repented. And am looking for someone else (this time in a proper halal way involving parents early). However this hurt still sticks mainly of how good I thought she was.

It was a shock. My whole view of women has been ruined especially since so many other girls do the same behaviour she displayed - e.g she told me her friends who were also Muslim did the same , and also general stuff you see on social media

I’m extremely fearful of marriage now. Believing that most women are disloyal and want someone else and that I’ll never be enough

No it’s not gender wars. Any advice would be helpful. Jazzakallah khair