Abilify kind of ruined my life

That’s sort of a lie, I’m responsible as well. But towards the end of 2023 I went into psychosis and was prescribed abilify to help manage the symptoms. I did not realize until later that the side effects I was having were probably linked to the medication.

I gained weight pretty rapidly over the course of taking it, I was underweight at the start (70lb) and now I’m around 133lb, but that’s only because I’ve lost about 10lb recently. I’m 5ft3. This isn’t a huge deal, I know I was too small and I’m healthier now but it really has distorted how I view myself severely.

I also suddenly started having issues with spending money. And with impulse control in general. It was like I couldn’t think ahead into the future. Like genuinely nothing about my future even phased me, I could not comprehend lasting consequences anymore. I was always so anxious about everything and suddenly I was so impulsive and making terrible decisions every single day.

I also became extremely hyper sexual. I had never even cared about dating or sex or anything of the sort and then suddenly it was swarming my brain constantly. I made some really terrible decisions because of it. Life altering terrible decisions. Unemployable terrible decisions.

The only reason I feel like this is all linked to abilify is because I got off of it around December of last year, and had been tapering off before that, and all of these issues stopped. I barely spend money anymore. I don’t care about sex or looking sexy or whatever the fuck. I want a future.

I just feel so fucking stupid and upset. I don’t want to blame a medication entirely but I know who I am and the way I acted while on that medication just doesn’t feel representative of me.

And it’s really hard, because I had the most friends and the most fun going on while this was all happening. I guess my impulsivity and general carelessness was fun to be around. I don’t know.

I’m trying to get my life back together now.