20M immigrant in Czech Republic, stuck in a loop of regret. How do I restart?

I’m 20 years old. Five months ago I moved from Ukraine to the Czech Republic because of the war. Life back home was very hard — poverty, cold winters, constant air raid alerts. I wanted a fresh start. I came here with about $4,200 in savings and received free accommodation for three months.

I still have my bicycle. It has never actually broken down. The sprocket and chain are rusty, but they can easily be replaced or cleaned with a special solution that I already have. I also have two batteries, both 36 volts, with capacities of 13 Ah and 15 Ah. In assist mode, I can ride around 100–120 km in total. So technically, I have everything I need to work.

I am officially employed by WOLT under a legal light contract. By law, I can earn up to about 10,000 Czech crowns per month, which is around 70 hours of riding. Those 10,000 crowns cover my housing and insurance. I need about 3,000 more for food. I still have approximately 40,000 crowns in savings from Ukraine because I haven’t really started working yet.

The real problem isn’t the bike, the job, or even the money. The real problem is my mindset. Since I was about 18, I’ve had a destructive pattern: whenever I miss an opportunity, I replay it in my head every single day and start hating myself for it.

The biggest example is Ireland. When I was 16, my father wanted me to move there. I already knew English well. He told me he had money to pay for my education. I didn’t go. Later, my father died in the war, and that opportunity disappeared forever. For two years in Ukraine, not a single day passed without me thinking about how badly I messed up by not listening to him.

Now I’m repeating the same cycle. I wasted the first few months here. I procrastinated. I stopped learning Czech. I isolated myself. Even though I am technically employed and have working equipment, I haven’t actually started properly. My savings are slowly shrinking, and my confidence is very low.

I constantly feel stupid and irresponsible. I often think other people secretly see me as a failure.

The core issue is this: I get mentally paralyzed by regret. I obsess over lost chances. I feel like every mistake permanently defines me. The shame drains my energy and makes it harder to act — which then creates more regret. It’s a loop.

I’m not asking for generic advice like “just go to therapy.” I need practical ways to break this pattern.

How do you stop living in the past when you can’t change it? How do you rebuild discipline when shame keeps telling you that you’ve already wasted too much time?

I’m ready to work. I don’t want to give up. I just feel mentally stuck.

I’ve had some very dark thoughts during this time — the kind that come when you feel completely trapped and hopeless. But deep down I don’t want to disappear. I want to fix this.

If anyone has rebuilt their life after wasting time, money, and confidence, I would really appreciate real, practical advice.

I genuinely want to fix this, and I’m committing to start taking action this Monday.