M28 F26 Need outside perspective on trust issue at the start of a new long-distance relationship?

Hey everyone, I could really use some neutral advice.

I (29M) have been seeing a girl (28F) long distance for about four months. We met at a wedding in October and have been visiting each other back and forth since then. We officially defined exclusivity and became “official” about a week ago.

Here’s the issue:

Before we had defined exclusivity, I had gone on two casual dates and exchanged some light/flirty texts with someone else. Nothing physical happened, and once she and I had a conversation about choosing each other, I stopped all communication with anyone else immediately.

This past weekend, she went through my phone while I was asleep, found those old messages from before we were official, and was extremely hurt. She feels like it damaged our trust and makes her question how she can feel secure, especially since we’re long distance. She asked me how I’d feel in her shoes and how she’s supposed to trust me going forward.

From my perspective, we hadn’t clearly defined exclusivity at the time, and she had previously said she wasn’t sure what she wanted 4-5 times over those 4 months. I never intended to hurt her, and once we became official I’ve been fully committed.

Now she says she needs time to process and isn’t sure what she wants.

I’m torn because:

•	I understand why seeing those messages would hurt.

•	But I also feel like I didn’t technically cross a boundary that had been set at the time.

•	I’m fully committed now and want this to work.

•	I don’t want to be defensive, but I also don’t want to take on full blame for something that happened before we defined the relationship.

For people who’ve been in similar situations:

•	Is this something that’s realistically repairable?

•	How would you rebuild trust in a long-distance setup?

•	Am I missing something about why this feels bigger to her than it does to me?

I care about her deeply and want to handle this maturely, but I also don’t want to beg someone to choose me.

Would appreciate honest input, even if it’s hard to hear.