I (F17) love my boyfriend (M17) to bits... but all of his plans for employment after high school aren't realistic.
Hi. So, I've been with my boyfriend for a year, and we get along great, this is the healthiest relationship I have ever had, and actually relationship-wise I have little to no complaints. He treats me well, he's caring, supportive, kind, respectful to me, my friends, and the family I live with. He convinced his mom to let me move in when i first ran away from my biological family due to neglect and abuse, and he's always been there for me. We've had our issues but we worked through them ourselves and we're doing really good now.
The thing is- I have plans. Concrete plans. After high school, I'll continue my job for a year so I can save up for a car, and save enough money and take a few extra classes to improve my transcript so I can get into my dream university. I want to get a combined degree in psychology and addictions counseling. I want to settle down, eventually start my own specialized clinic, and get married, have kids, etc etc. He supports me, encourages me, wants marriage and kids and to have our own family, but here's where it gets kind of unrealistic. He believes he can become a youtuber and make a living wage off of it. He thinks that he'll be able to get as popular as The Boys. He wants to play video games and make money off of it. Now, I don't ever tell him that he can't. I'll never tell him that he can't. But I'm scared that he'll actually try and do this. Without a back up plan. He doesn't have the grades for any post secondary education, nor does he even want any. He doesn't have a job yet (I do), and he's not even applying anywhere but always complains about not having a job. I'm worried that in a few years, while I'm shoulders-deep in university, he's still going to be living with a parent, without a job. And I don't want to be the person who crushes his dreams. I want to encourage him. But it's unrealistic. Being a youtuber is so much more than just playing video games and putting your gameplay online. There's video-editing, voiceovers, equipment, advertising yourself, etc etc, and I'm worried he's going to start it, and then realize he can't do it, not have a backup plan, and need to restart. I've tried encouraging him to look into trades, different certifications you can get for better jobs, but he never really listens to me. I explain that I'm trying to help, and he knows that, but he's just uninterested because he truly believes he can be a youtuber. Or a singer. Or an actor. All things that are possible, but the chances of being successful and make good money off of it are slim. And I'm all for him trying to do these things! he just doesn't have a backup plan. At all. He always jokes about being the stay at home dad and husband, but I'm really starting to think it's not really a joke anymore. Even though I know my income as a psychologist and counselor would be quite a bit, I don't think I could support a whole family unit on my own.
What do I do???
Posted Feb 20, 2026, 4:34 PM UTC