Please help me talk myself into rehab

My counter is wrong, I relapsed a while back.

Things have been bad, like close to divorce, hospitalized in restraints bad.

There's a bed available, but thinking about going sends me in to a panic.

Y'all I'm not okay. My husband is supportive and encouraging, my family is too but they are very "do it on your own time" and i think I need more of "get your ass to rehab or else".

I KNOW I need to go. The thought of it has me curled in a ball under the covers feeling like I should just stay in bed forever.

I hate this so much.