Kya krun ab , Kahin se bhi koi btaao kch, anything can help me

I feel I'm blamed for anything in home,Nhi samajh arha ki aur kitna dekhna padega mujhe ye sb. Merpe galti shift hojata hai, just because mai chota hu. Mai na puch skta hu na kch kr skta hu, I'm no one in this home. Hua kya ki Mai khaane baitha and mammi mujhe kitchen se kch saman laane boli, fir le aya to boli ki aur bhi Lana tha to ek aur samaan lane , aisa 4 bar chala, mai gya aur aya Then wapas se unhone bola ki acchha ye bhi le aa ek kaam kr, To I just said ki yar Kitna uthunga , mai bhi to khaa rha hun, papa kitchen me hain unse hi mangwalo na. And then pta nhi kya hua wo Khaana ka bartan uthayi and Jor se fekdi , saying ek kaam nhi krta hai, itna kch hamlog krte hain iske liye, fever ke time sbkch krte hain lekin isko ek baat bolo kuch nhi hota hai. Papa aye fir ki rokne and smjhane ka try kr rhe they ki beech me wo bhi merpe bhadak gye ki disrespect kaise kiya , YHI khilaaye hai bs, khali khayega aur soyega. And fir jab pucha mai ki I only said ki Mai to bas bola tha ki aapse mangwale samaaan. Kyuki I was also eating, 3 4 bar uth chuka tha already, 1 bar nhi utha to itna bada matter kyu. Fir khaate time hi 1 thin and lamba sa dandi se mujhe bohot pada, saying sawal krta hai , shanti se sun nhi skta, baat nhi manta hai to kmse kam question to mat kro. Kuch mana krta hu to itna bada baat hojata hai ki baaki log khaana hi nhi khaate. And uska blame hmpe ata hai ki Mai baat nhi mana to us wajah se khana nhi khaya koi. Aur samne se ye sunne mile ki hmko koi attachment nhi hai, zinda rho mar jaao, zinda rehte apna ghrwala ko maardiye tum baccha ho to tum kyu zinda ho. "Beta wagerah nhi chaiye hmko ham apne me hi khus hain".