Do I Have a Right to Be Mad or Am I Just ‘Too Sensitive’?

It’s just frustrating because this already happened before — in the exact same staycation hotel, about a year apart. The first time, we were there with friends and family. We all went out for dinner, and the entire night I was the one entertaining, pacifying, and watching our 2-year-old by myself. My husband was drinking with his friends and barely checked on us. By the end of the night, I had to ask my parents to bring me and our son back to the hotel because he was too busy to come with us. I remember feeling so alone that night.

Then it happened again the next year. We were on another staycation with family, went out for dinner, and after eating, our 3-year-old was already sleepy and needed to be changed. I brought him back to the hotel room, and his parents volunteered to go with me. My husband didn’t even offer to come. He just stayed at the restaurant with everyone else. A few hours passed and I texted him for an update, even telling him that his son was already looking for him. No reply. Not even seen. And he always has his phone with him. When he finally came back, I sarcastically thanked him for the update. His excuse was that his phone was at 1%. But 1% still means you can see messages. It just felt like an excuse.

What really annoys me isn’t just that night — it’s the pattern. Every time I need even a 30-second break to pee and I say, “Pabantay muna si baby,” the response is always, “Ah bakit?” It’s like I need a valid reason just to step away for a moment. Meanwhile, he can disappear for hours without guilt, without checking in, without even sending a simple “Kamusta kayo diyan?” That small gesture would honestly change everything.

When he came back to the room that second time, I was visibly upset. And instead of trying to understand why, he said, “Lagi ka nalang galit pag vacation. I never get a good vacation. Pareho ka ng parents mo.” That really hurt. My parents are both really sensitive peopleand tend to fight almost everyday and esp during vacations or special occasions, so being compared to them felt like a low blow.

So now I’m asking myself — do I even have the right to be mad? Am I actually being sensitive like my parents? Or is this gaslighting?

When I reflect on it, I realize I’m usually upset during vacations because I don’t actually feel like I’m on vacation. I feel alone. Yes, sometimes my parents or his parents help me with our child — but it’s rarely him. And he’s the father. During these trips, I’m the one packing, organizing, cleaning up, calming tantrums, putting our son to sleep, feeding him — I’m the one exhausted. He pays for things, yes, but is that enough? I’m just tired of feeling like I’m parenting alone, even when he’s right there.