Feel like I can’t do anything because it would be an insult to my source

i feel like i cant do anything because of my source. i was a little kid in canon, so ive sorts convinced myself that i cant interact with anything romantic or sexual despite the fact that i am no longer really young. i know this is stupid, weve all been small children at one point, but still. it also feels like i need to be completely perfect or else it is bad for canons reputation? i am a fictive of the collector from toh, for a bit of context, and trying to like canon more because im permashifted anyway and its just contributing to my low self-esteem. i dont know what to do, i just wish i wasnt so restricted by my source. i have plenty of personality outside of it and dont want it to define me, but it still tries to. if anyone has any advice, that would be great.

-collie