Being CF is Hard

Freedom isn't free as they say. I'm sure I'm preaching to the choir with this, but do you feel maintaining your childfreedom (basically your peace) is an ongoing battle? A lot of stress and work involved is removed if you can get sterilized, but for a lot of women that's difficult to manage. Really solves the bulk of abortion issues if you just respect the right to choice.

Dating isn't easy because while the CF population is seemingly growing I'd say it's still a minority compared to the rest of the world. So it's pretty rare to find someone fully on board and even if you do... minds get changed. It's hard enough just to find someone you're compatible with, but now a lot of the fun parts of dating become a chore for us because you gotta constantly vet every action and sentence. Basically if they're not sterilized or trying to make it happen you have to assume they're 99.99% at best.

Breeders and the like honestly enjoy a lot more every day freedoms because they're not forced to be proactive in life. They don't have to think long term and live an it is what it is mindset because they're not too fussed about the consequences. (Also means I feel no sympathy in most cases)

You can't really do that when you're childfree. You have to take charge with BC and be militant about it. It's a tad easier to manage as a man. Sure there aren't a lot of options other than the snip BUT it's a hell of a lot easier/less invasive to cover your ass so there's really no excuse for baby trapping. Especially when you understand once she's pregnant you have no say so you should be planning accordingly.

Friendships inevitably disappear and change into adulthood, but I really think a lot of that is due to the arrival of kids. Different priorities and needs, but also parents tend to turn pretty selfish once kids arrive. Part of that is okay since your kid should be priority #1 in your life going forward, but it's no excuse to be awful to other people and disrespect our time. We're of course the villains if we hold them to any sort of standard with their flakiness. Cue the "you find our who your real friends are" vague social media updates.

Family dynamics change forever and this is one the hardest parts of being childfree. It's all well if you're into being the "fun" aunt/uncle, but a lot of us don't want to be bothered with kids in any capacity. So it forces us to be bad guys over choices we had no say in but family expects us to just accept this new role. Oh so you knocked someone up and now I got weekend homework forever?

The unironic part is if they just let things happen (if they do) naturally... we might eventually foster some sort of relationship, but not when you try and frame it as an obligation.

So much of life is catered to families. Sometimes you have to deal with unfairness with regards to work assignments and time off. Governments want people to breed (wage slaves, bullet sponges and as we're learning... to prop up billionaire dating pools) and so they will reward them in tax breaks. If you're getting a fat paycheck every year then you basically don't pay taxes. So it's a growing burden on those who opt out.

I wouldn't change anything about my life with regards to children. "It must be nice" they say... this freedom is usually not handed to us. It something we constantly have to fight and defend. Being and remaining childfree to me requires you to constantly be "on". I guess it just depends on what's important. We enjoy freedom, but we create it. Breeders complain about their lack of freedom after kids come on board, but also rarely think about their actions leading up to that moment. Ignorance is bliss, but the bill does come due eventually.

Don't you hate when people tell you they *used* to be CF, but then you learn they did nothing in regards to safe sex? Temporarily childless is where most people are. Because actually being CF requires an investment in time and energy. We work just as hard as parents to stay FREE.

Just my 0.02.