What does being queer mean to you? How would you define it for yourself?

I am asking because I thought I knew the answer for myself, but recently my partner's roommate, who does not like me, has started spreading the idea that I'm not queer because I don't "read as queer." I am transgender. Everyone knows this. I wouldn't have thought much of it, but now my partner is saying I'm not queer. He said the other day that I'm "basically just straight" and again that I don't "read as queer."

All of this has made me feel very alone, and I don't know what they're talking about. I have always felt that, to me, being queer is living my best life regardless of societal standards for gender or gender roles, but I have noticed a drop in people socializing with me in the local queer community, and there's this movement to declare that I'm not queer despite working so hard every day to give it my all and be me.