31 [M4F] Madison - Mr. And Mrs. Smith

I think it would be fun to do a role-play of Mr. And Mrs. Smith with nerf guns where we are both assassins working for some agency that has ordered us both to eliminate each other. We have a nerf gun battle, and it ends with us passionately rediscovering our connection with each other.

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It’s that same old story. I’m bored of my supermodel wife. She’s just the worst! She spends all her time going to the gun range and practicing martial arts. Where’s the time for ME? Where’s the time for us? I mean, sure. I’m busy too. I just went on a three month “business trip” where I didn’t call her at all because I was in deep cover and I was afraid any phone conversations home would be bugged. But why can’t she understand that that was a work trip? Really, I was doing it for us.

So now that I’ve just been informed by my company that she’s an assassin and that I need to “take her out”, I have really complicated feelings. On the one hand, I’m kind of sad. What kind of sick and twisted person would have a job as a professional assassin?

I’m also a little embarrassed. She says I never listen to her, and I always dismiss her when she says that because that’s ridiculous. But I never saw it coming that she was a professional assassin. In retrospect, it makes sense, given her world class marksmanship and martial arts abilities. Or the fact that she told me outright several times that she was an assassin. But honestly, I think that’s a mistake that anyone could make, and my therapist has told me I need to be able to practice self-forgiveness.

But mostly, I feel relieved. I really just want some time to myself after feeling burned out at work. I just want some time to sit in my room and play some guitar. I usually play hard rock, but right now I’m feeling some Taylor Swift. After all, I should have known my wife was trouble when she walked in.

I have to admit, I will miss her, at least a little. We had a lot of fun adventures when we met, like going down the Milwaukee river in a hot tub boat, or going to the comedy club on state street. I’ll miss doing acro yoga and going swing dancing together. I’ll miss making her homemade pizza and creme brûlée and then eating together over candlelight, or the time she said that the floating island I made her made her feel like she had her own Michelin chef. I’ll miss the piano concerts I gave her where she slowly took my clothes off and kissed me between songs. But it’s for the best.

Hold on a minute, I just received a notification from work that she may be heavily armed with lots of nerf guns and nerf darts? Well, I suppose it’s only fair.

Game on.