These teenagers spat on me

I was hanging out with my best friend last week. These obnoxious teens were looking to start a fight. They insulted me, so I fought back. They spat on me AND my friend AND her baby. So it kind of escalated. Anyway, they left us alone eventually. They spat on us twice. I was supposed to be the man, but I didn't do anything.

I saw these teens again... tonight. I was by myself. I had just finished talking to my sister. Trying to reconnect with her. I tried to kill myself last year and I wanted to see how she was coping. We were on good terms. I left the pub... and I recognized those teens... because they spat on me. I was starting shit with them. They spat on me, so I spat on them. I was smart enough to block their spit with my skateboard. Anyway, my sister saw the whole thing. And I felt like a failure and a piece of shit. I tried to explain... these aren't random teens. These kids spat on me and my friend AND her baby.

I feel terrible. Why did the timing work out like this? Why did this need to happen in front of my sister who I was trying to reconnect with. It's a fucking sick joke. Why?