People with OCPD, What was the turning point that got you to seek treatment?

Hi everyone. Long time lurker on this page, and I just want to say thank you to everyone who's shared their own personal experiences here. You've helped more people than you realize. My partner has been told he has OCPD but his response so far has basically been "seems like this is more a feature than a bug," or "how can perfectionism be a bad thing?" Meanwhile I see it affecting his life, and our relationship, in so many ways. I'm also diagnosed with a personality disorder (BPD) and I know it can be difficult having that diagnostic label put on you, and then reading all these things online about how burdensome your emotional responses / patterns can be to loved ones. It took me a long time to realize my personality disorder was not all that i was, that not every scary extreme thing about it out there on the internet applied to me, and that I wasn't set in my ways. In the long run getting treated has made me a more grounded, self-aware person and has improved every single relationship in my life.

I want that for my boyfriend, but from what I've learned about people with OCPD, it can be particularly hard for many afflicted to see what's even problematic about their OCPD patterns of behavior. I'm scared he's too "calcified" if that makes sense, to even undergo this journey of learning about himself and growing. For reference, I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early thirties. He's had bad experiences with therapy before (in his teens a therapist diagnosed him as a sociopath and, although he does have this oppositional defiance streak, I think that label really hurt him, given how much he actually cares about others.) So I'm curious, what was the turning point that made you guys personally want to go into therapy / recognize the need to change? How did you find a form of therapy you couldn't rationalize your way out of? It's amazing how often the people I hear from here remind me of my boyfriend at his best and worst. He's self-employed and self-made, highly successful and hyper-competent despite a childhood of neglect and minimal emotional support. His rigidness can be difficult in all the classic ways (rearranging the fridge after I put groceries away, insisting everything is done on his schedule, not mine, etc) but since moving in with him, I've seen bigger symptoms that make his life really difficult. For example, he has this idea that he has to be "on" with his friends at all times, and self isolates if there's anything going on in his life that would make him feel ashamed to be around others. He is also a major hoarder, which I was not aware of until we moved in, and having to make space and trash some things (a hoodie from middle school, an expired box of condoms, etc) has been visibly emotionally upsetting to him. He has looked into OCPD since being diagnosed but only with ChatGPT, who seemed to convince him it was an asset more than anything else.