Advice for managing tension at home about energy use and drying clothes

Hi all,

I wanted to post here because this is related to Ireland and the housing crisis, particularly the challenges of living at home as an adult.

I live with my mother, and while I’m grateful to be at home, it can be very stressful. There’s a lot of tension in the house, and I often need to retreat to my room after disagreements.

This morning, another issue came up regarding a dehumidifier I bought in November. I originally got it for my bedroom to control moisture, humidity, and mold. I quickly realized it’s also excellent for drying clothes. I have a setup where I place wet clothes on a clothes horse, put the dehumidifier underneath, cover everything with a large sheet, and the clothes are nearly dry in about 4–6 hours.

Before the dehumidifier, drying clothes indoors was difficult. I would often wait until my mother was in bed to use the tumble dryer because wet clothes hanging around for days felt messy. I usually do two washes a week and try to plan laundry for dry days, but that’s not always possible in Ireland’s winter.

The dehumidifier is on a smart plug, and the cost is reasonable: €26 in January and so far under €16 in February. Despite this, my mother is extremely anxious about the cost and treats it as though it’s an expensive heater. She automatically blames my energy use for any increases, even though I contribute to the bills.

She doesn’t seem to fully understand energy use. For example:

- She runs most of her laundry at 60°C with extra rinse.

- She warms her clothes in the dryer every morning and again in the evening for her pyjamas (I timed one load at 25 minutes).

Her pattern of blaming me existed even before the dehumidifier. She also refuses to apply for the Warmer Homes Scheme I gave her a form for in November. The home is uninsulated, rarely heated, and very damp—sometimes smelling like a mix of a swimming pool and cat urine.

January's electricity bill was 240 euro for 2 months which I feel was very reasonable for the winter. She wasn't happy about that bill. Even though we had similar bills before. I think last year we didn't get those high bills due to energy credits from the government. I don't think she's able to comprehend this. Also a lot of the electricity bill can be made up of taxes and charges. I don't think she can really read the bill or comprehend it. I also pay my way towards the bills but she is still anxious about it.

I’ve tried drying clothes in my bedroom, but it gives me headaches overnight. I also calculated that using the dehumidifier is cheaper than using the dryer late at night. I try to be careful with energy use by doing low-temperature washes when possible.

Despite all this, every time I use the dehumidifier, my mother harangues me about it. There seems to be no room for reason or logic, and it’s making living at home very stressful.

Has anyone dealt with something similar? How do you manage energy-related tension at home, especially when trying to maintain a practical routine like drying clothes efficiently?

I am finding things very stressful. I am trying to do the best I can. She haraues me a lot. This is stressful because she has no real or true comprehension over her own energy use. Just blames me.

Thanks in advance for any advice.