Has anyone else married a man who is completely incapable of carrying any of the load?

I don't mean just weaponized incompetence I mean actual diagnosable disorders. My husband basically either didn't know he had them or didn't tell me before we got married. So now I am literally in charge of EVERYTHING. He can't carry any mental load at all. It's like being married to someone with brain damage. I can say we need to check the washer fluid in the car so park at the front of the parking lot so I can check it and he will have literally no idea what I just said. And say I didn't communicate properly and give him enough information. And just so you know he is a highly educated brilliant man who was valedictorian of both high school and his masters degree. He isn't stupid he's just incompetent. He's basically my child. He can't work due to back issues, he can't clean house, he can't carry mental load, he can barely work his phone. It is absolutely like having a child.

And on top of everything WE'VE NEVER HAD SEX! he lied to me and failed to tell me he had lost his ability to get an erection before we were married. Fun surprise on my wedding night. I'm 43 and I haven't had sex since I was 35!

I will not divorce him so don't suggest that because like I said he's a child and will die if I divorce him. What I want is to hear others stories of incompetence and how they handle them.