Misinformation About Attachment Styles

Hi all, just wanted to share these articles from Psychology Today and Vice debunking some common myths about attachment style. These articles are written by actual psychologists. I feel like “anxious attachment” has become the new boogeyman among parents and caregivers, and I see posts on here referencing it all the time. I really recommend reading both articles in full, but here’s the cliff notes:

1. Attachment styles can change throughout your life. You do not develop one in early childhood that stays with you as you grow older.

2. Attachment styles can differ depending on the circumstances. The same person may experience one type with their parents and a different type with their friends.

3. “Insecure Attachment” is not a diagnosis. You and your mental health provider may find it useful to discuss how certain negative patterns influenced your life, but it is not a diagnosis. It is not as simple as having or not having secure attachments.

4. Much of the statistics and quotes you see on parenting blogs and TikToks about attachment style comes from John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth’s research, including their famous experiment where a mother would leave a baby in a room to see how the baby would react. That research was conducted from 1960-1990. It is outdated by 30+ years. Modern psychologists have found that Bowlby’s experiment was not nearly as predictive as he believed.

5. In related news: psychologists really, really wish people would take a look at actual research instead of quoting posts from social media. They’re still doing research, but the one big conclusion they’ve drawn is *early attachment style does not impact our lives nearly as much as social media says it does*.