Play the man, not the ball - use psychology not facts

I've been trying to make a switch in my life in the way I discuss things with people. When I participate in a discussion about any topic, but particularly topics which are related to the person I'm talking to's life and success (like correcting something they're doing in their life), I tend to only think about the facts of what I'm saying. I see the topic at hand as being like a chess board, and I have the right move for them. The chessboard is completely independent of the people themselves. In fact, it helps me to separate them out, because I can then solve the problem more clearly.

In basketball, it's often a coaching tip to tell someone to play "the man, not the ball". When guarding someone in front of you who has the ball, that ball is constantly moving all over the place and it's extremely hard to track, so if you're only focused on it, the opponent can easily juke you out and get passed you. That's why they say to focus on the man, only look at how the body in front of you is moving.

So the switch I've been making lately is to always consider the fact that I'm talking to a person, and that that person's development is much more important than solving their problem. You may solve this one problem but they may not even by aligned with what you're saying, and it won't help them in solving the next problem. It's a much wiser way of looking at things.

In even more simple terms, it's acknowledging psychology basically.